From self-doubt to self-love: Tackling teen self-esteem

“I can’t do it.” “No one likes me.” “I’m not smart enough.”

As parents and caregivers, it can be heartbreaking to hear your teen say these types of statements. Between peers, social media and puberty (among many other factors), it’s no surprise that teens may struggle with low self-esteem. Let’s dive into the world of teen self-esteem and how to help turn their self-doubt into self-love.

Understanding teen self-esteem

According to the American Psychological Association,¹ “self-esteem is the degree to which we feel satisfied with ourselves and feel valuable and worthy of respect.” It can be a tall order for anyone, but especially teenagers. The teen years are a period of life marked by a heightened sensitivity to social stimuli.² Mean comments by friends and classmates might stick with teens longer than they would with adults. Or they may take it personally if they’re not invited to a peer’s party.  Self-esteem plays a vital role in teens’ overall health and well-being. It can also affect academic achievement, social relationships, confidence and ability to effectively manage emotions even into adulthood.

Factors that affect self-esteem

Many factors can influence how a teen feels about themselves, such as:^3,4

• Negative messaging: Criticism and lack of encouragement from family, friends, trusted adults and others
• Social media: Constant exposure to celebrities, influencers and the endless posts that make everyone else’s lives look “perfect”
• Societal and academic pressures: Unreasonable and unattainable expectations
• Experiencing adverse childhood experiences: Traumatic events like neglect, witnessing violence or the death of a loved one

Signs of low self-esteem

Some teens may not feel comfortable talking about their self-esteem. Whether they discuss their challenges or not, some common signs to watch for may include:⁵

• Withdrawing from friends and family
• Avoiding challenges or quickly giving up
• Having trouble accepting praise
• Mood or behavior changes
• Being more concerned or sensitive about other people’s opinion of them
• An increase in self-criticism

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How to turn low self-esteem into self-love

Parents, caregivers, family members, educators and even peers play key roles in boosting the self-esteem of teens. Here are a few ways in which we can all turn some of that self-doubt into self-love:

• Remind them how great they are: Encourage and remind them about their strengths. A simple “I love you” or “You’ve got this” can also work wonders.
• Keep an open line of communication: Encourage them to express themselves and listen with respect. Create a safe space for discussing their feelings and challenges without judgment.
• Help set realistic goals: Try following the S.M.A.R.T. goal method to help your teen achieve their goals.
• Promote healthy habits: Limit screen time and encourage healthy eating, sleep and physical activity.
• Limit social media use: Set boundaries and remind them that real life is different from what they see online.
• Reach out for extra support: Mental health professionals are there to help with self-esteem and many other emotional health issues.

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Always there for your family

Teens deserve to feel good about who they are and their futures. Still, it can be tough to tackle self-esteem issues alone. Our therapists are here to help eligible dependents with any challenges they may be facing. They’re also here to help arm parents and caregivers with the support they need. Create your Teladoc Health account to find out if you’re eligible today.

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Published July 25, 2024